"Just, as a novel concept, try not pissing me off for a while."
"At this point, spiraling out of control seems like the far more suitable choice."
"Sad trombone." (in a far higher pitch than should have been used, unfortunately.)
"Don't let reason, fact, or any shred of sanity slow you down."
"If I thought it was a worthwhile endeavor, I probably would have tried it."
"Life is, in fact, often shorter than it should be."
"If I'm doing this right, you guys are screwed."
"Just let Douchebaggus Maximus over there say his piece and then we can all go on with our lives."
"I wish I had found a way to do it better. I wish I had found a way to do it. I wish I had found a way. I wish."
[All of the above were said by, near, or to me at some point in the last 24 to 36 hours. None of it may be worth a damn, but there it is.]