Well, you know how I said episode #22, Prophecy of Doom, was the first example of an episode that simply failed to work? Here's your second. In fact, the problems with the The Cape and Cowl Conspiracy weren't even just about the plot. It was also the dialogue and the pacing and the action and questioning basic costs of animation time, both for the story and the studio. We started with a nice, moody opening with a guy following a rhyming clue, which makes the initial thought of the long-time Batman fan that this could involve The Riddler. Instead, we get a cheesy, bad James Bond-style quicksand trap. That's quickly followed by the exposition trap of trying to introduce a "famous" villain that is presented through dialogue, rather than story. That dialogue is supposed to represent two people who've known each other for years- The Batman and Commissioner Gordon -speaking to each other in rhetorical questions ("The guy who specializes in using deathtraps to pry information out of his victims?") They follow the unloading of exposition where nothing actually happens in the story (Don't do this when you're writing, kids!) with little in-jokes where the writer was apparently impressed with himself: "Look up 'slippery' in the dictionary and there's a picture of his face next to it. Well, if anyone can pin something on him and make it stick..."
But a major problem with the screenplay isn't just the thin plot and the clumsy methods used to convey it. It's also a fundamental misunderstanding of the character. This is a very juvenile presentation of The Batman. He has a target for information about this crime and he abducts him in outrageous fashion by swinging across the stage of a public charity event. This is not the mysterious Darknight Detective, letting the shadows and atmosphere work for him. This is someone committing assault (and ruining a very expensive cake) in front of the "proper citizens" of Gotham. This is a teenager deciding that he's the toughest guy in town and this is how tough guys do their business because no one will tell them otherwise. This mindset is perpetuated in the following seconds, where The Batman smiles at the thought of the Baron being afraid of heights. There's no menace of an otherworldly creature there. It's just a bully being a bully and laughing about it. That's not The Batman and it's not very effective unless the plot demands that it be so. This is perpetuated in a later encounter with Gordon, where The Batman has already figured out Wormwood's first clue and Gordon asks: "Do you know what it means?" The response: "Don't you?" This is petty Batman: "I know something you don't!" This isn't our hero. This is someone too impressed with himself.
Pacing and direction are a big problem here, as well. When "the Baron" meets Wormwood to make his offer, we spend several seconds and a lot of animation cels with him tossing a poster-sized picture of The Batman for Wormwood to look at. Why? The story gains nothing from this kind of gesture. It doesn't create atmosphere. It doesn't convey information. It doesn't move anything forward anymore than "the Baron" simply telling Wormwood what he wants, which takes less time and doesn't require animators to do much, which means it saves production costs. What we got was just padding the story of a thin plot for no positive effect, but plenty of negative ones. That misaligned approach is evident throughout the entire production. This is presented as the first use(!) of the Batsignal by Gordon, except that one of the ears in the skyline image is bent. Was Gordon planning on fixing that first paint job later or was it just bad artwork from the animators? Then we get to the trainyard, where Wormwood has to announce that "you won't find me in there, but you will find... a TRAP!" Oh. Shocking. And it's doubly shocking when we witness the clichéd damsel-in-distress-on-railroad-tracks routine. Did they think that even kids would be intrigued by that so-dated-it-can't-even-be-a-meme situation? Even 30 years ago, no one serious used that gag.
Plus, it seems apparent that the writer's grasp on even his lesser characters wasn't that great. Wormwood, master criminal, is reduced to a stuttering henchman when he has to explain to the Baron that he failed in his first attempt to steal the costume of The Batman. You know, the guy who deals with criminal geniuses on the regular? Given that they decided this was the first appearance of the Batsignal, maybe this was supposed to be so early in his career that he hadn't earned that reputation yet? Except that Gordon is completely casual with him, again, just like they'd known each other for years (and, at this point, we're 24 weeks into this version of the character.) In their subsequent encounter, we try to just ignore the fact that Wormwood has somehow been able to install not only barricades on the front door, but elaborate traps in a public building/tourist site like a wax museum. This just highlights the problems with the plot and the character to begin with. This is all too staged to be threatening to our main character or interesting to our audience. Suspension of disbelief is a necessary element of any fiction. They failed here, repeatedly. And then we get Bully Batman growling in anger that he's seemingly been outwitted.
But then we come to the final action scene, where story and direction all break down together. There's a notorious failing in many superhero comics where the main characters do what we call "the pose." It's a panel that follows an action sequence where they all stand and face the camera and flex like they were in a photo shoot or on a modeling catwalk. It doesn't move the story forward and it doesn't tell the reader anything they didn't already know. It's just an opportunity for the artist to show off. It's the difference between graphic art and comic art. Animation can have that same problem and it shows up here in spades. The last five minutes of this episode are The Batman looking menacing while chasing an idiot and his key, when one punch or toss of a Batarang would've ended things on the spot. Instead, we get a fight sequence where Average Guy once again gets the best of the master unarmed combatant so that the latter can stalk down a hallway in the shadows and stand triumphant at the edge of a window. There's not even good atmosphere presented here. It's mostly just frustration as we sit through several minutes of "action" wondering why our hero looks like he has no clue what do next other than "the pose". Seriously, the only upside of this entire episode was that John Rhys-Davies was the Baron, and that character was still right out of (poor) central casting and completely obvious.
You cannot crash and burn much harder than this and it's surprising that regular director Frank Paur was the one helming it. Remarkably, it's actually based on a Detective Comics story from 1975, but those weren't always stunning pieces of literature, either. In fact, scheduling was so poor at DC in the 70s that they frequently put new covers on reprinted material; sometimes from a different book. This episode would've qualified at that level of disappointment.
Next time, we (cringe) have a dream sequence story with Perchance to Dream. Here's hoping for a better outcome.
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